


In Which We Learn to Move On

by Halfpetrichor



Category: Half Life Trilogy - Sally Green
Genre: An adventure in bisexuality, Fluff and Angst, Healing, Healthy Relationships, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Road Trips, Soulmates, tries to stay in Sally Green's style
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-31
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-20 12:50:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3650988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Halfpetrichor/pseuds/Halfpetrichor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's too late to go back and save Marcus, so the only thing we can do now is make sure no one else gets hurt." </p><p>Annalise killed Marcus, and Nathan must deal with the consequences. Gabriel refuses to let Nathan do this alone. Picks up immediately where half life ended.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sick

You wake up. 

The sun is too bright, and your head is pounding. You are lying on your side, face in the moist dirt, with your arm pinned under your chest. You try to move your arm, but it's stiff from being stuck in a cramped position all night. There are pebbles and dried leaves digging into the skin of your ribs, and it's uncomfortable. You groan from the discomfort.

You feel feel something touching you. 

Suddenly you are screaming because there is a hand on your shoulder. There's a hand on your shoulder, and you don't know who it belongs to, and you want it to go away. You hear a voice coming from over your body, but you cannot understand what it's saying. You are screaming too much to understand it. 

You can feel a fire building up in your body, somewhere near your lungs and heart. You want to let it out, but this scares you. You suddenly stop shouting because the fire inside is too alarming. 

The fire also brings back the memories. All at once you feel very aware of your mouth, and why it tastes like blood. 

The hand is still on your shoulder. 

"Nathan!" 

You recognize the voice. You turn, and Gabriel is looking at you. He seems frantic, manic almost, and he's panting. "Nathan, please, it's just me. Please talk to me." You can't say anything, it's like your throat was swallowed up by your stomach. You realize how sick you feel, and you think you might throw up. 

You pass out instead.


	2. Too calm

I know I’m wrong, but I feel like walking would be faster than riding this train. I’m looking out the window, and the grass is shaking at it's own leisure as the shadows of slow rolling clouds pass by. We drift near a lake, and at first I think I'm looking at glass the water is so still. It’s reflecting the entire sky, making this whole valley look infinite. Nothing around here is in a rush to get anywhere. It’s so serene. Tranquil. 

I don’t like it. I wish this goddamn train would hurry up. 

Traveling into France is not where I imagined myself being three days ago. Three days ago I thought I’d still be with the alliance, that our attack on the hunter base would be successful. Everyone would be there, including Marcus. Our lack of progress would frustrate us like usual, yes, but nobody would be dead or gone. 

Annalise would be there too. We still wouldn’t be on speaking terms, but she would be on our side and then I wouldn’t have had to-NO! It’s too painful to think about it. Gotta think about something else. Look around, think about something else. 

Gabriel. He seems peaceful right now, so I’ll think about him instead. He’s sitting across from me. His hands are holding open a book on his lap, but he’s not reading it. Instead he’s been staring out the window like I’ve been, and he’s so still, so calm, just like everything else here. I can tell being back in France is making him feel at ease. We’re heading Monaco cos apparently Gabriel has a connection there. An old friend that can keep us safe for a few days. I wonder if this friend was someone Gabriel knew from his childhood. 

I think about my old home. I miss the smells of thyme and petrichor that always wafted into every room from Gran’s workspace. I miss the sound of garden chimes and Deborah’s laughter. I miss Deborah. She was so gentle, like Arran, but rowdy like Jessica. I miss Gran’s old hands, how her translucent skin stretched delicately over her white bones. You could always see the whites of her joints when she was working on making potions. I miss that. I hate how usually when I think about her I can only remember the look on her face when the White Council took me away, the tears that- no, no, NO! Not right now! I can think about this later! Not right now! Talk instead! 

“Hey, Gabriel?” He jumps slightly. “What’s that book about?” I gesture to the one he hasn’t been reading. He smiles.

“Not sure yet.”

“Do you know what the plot is?”

“I don’t know that there even is one.” This makes me laugh.

“How can a story not have a plot? What’s the name of that book anyways?” Gabriel sits up a little and picks it up.

“It’s called ‘The Awakening’ by Kate Chopin. So far it’s a bunch of French Americans sitting around and talking a lot.”

“Sounds like you.” This makes him laugh. 

There's a pause. It's not easy talking to each other after what happened. He knows I don't want to talk about it, and I know he does. We don't say anything for a while, so I listen to the incessant crackling of cell phones. There are fains all around us, and every single one of them has one of those hissing torture-things. Another reason this bloody train should hurry the hell up so we can get out of here. Gabriel breaks the silence first. 

"Nathan... I know you wish we could go after Annalise, and I'm sorry. I want to too, trust me, I want to see her get what she deserves, But-

"Gabriel, I know.” I stop him. “This is more important right now. We don't even have anything to go after Annalise with. We have to recuperate first. I understand."

"And we need to get you healed." He sounds forceful. Gabriel keeps having to remind me that I'm not OK right now, at least not physically. I know he knows I'm pretending I am. I want to think everything is OK because if I don’t...

Arran has been helping me along with adjusting to the new gifts. His powers aren’t that strong, though, so it’s taking a long time, especially with being on the move all the time. I think being able to rest somewhere safe will be an enormous help.

My new gifts are confusing. Some of them are coming in faster than others, especially the fire thing. That one is the strongest. I think weather control is the second most powerful because I keep making it rain indoors without even thinking about it. I enjoy that one because it keeps raining on Nesbitt, who gets pissed every time it happens. I wish that my healing gift would come in soon. I still believe that gifts reflect who you are, so I think the gifts least like me are taking the longest to develop. 

I wonder if Marcus went through a similar process whenever he stole a new gift. I wonder if they all didn’t come in at the same pace, or maybe they did mine aren’t because there are so many of them. I wonder if his body needed to adjust each time he got a new gift. Did eating hearts repulse him this much too? Just thinking about the blood on my lips, the flesh in my mouth makes me-

Don’t think about it! Move on. 

Nesbitt has been dead asleep for hours now. I would wonder if he actually is dead, but every once in a while he lets out a large snore that (unfortunately) alerts us to his existence. Arran has been sleepy all afternoon and is nodding off at the moment. 

Our group feels so small now. I never realized what a large presence Van had until we couldn’t find her after the battle. It’s partially the smoke. Whenever you’d walk into a room with her in it you instantly felt drawn in by from that strawberry scented smoke. It was like she filled your lungs and your whole body when she was around. Now I can breathe easier, but the air isn’t as sweet. Gabriel said his contact might also have a connection to Van. I wonder who the hell this contact is.

There’s a -“shhh” and the train jolts. Nesbitt jerks awake with a snort. Arran pops his head up and looks around startled. Gabriel isn’t fazed at all. I look out the window, and it’s like the serene trance that was following us has broken. We’re in a station, and there are people moving about busily. Birds jump to and from the edge of the train platform, curious about it but not wanting to get too close. Some of the other passengers stand up when the Captain announces that we have arrived in Monaco. 

When we step off of the train it’s twilight, and the Rivera sky is glistening. All of a sudden I feel faint and I need to get out of here.


	3. Fire

I think I might be lost, but I don’t know how I could be. I have nowhere to go. The moon is hanging low overhead, and I can tell it’s nearly dawn. I wish I could find some water to wash off this blood, but there’s nothing around. I tried to sleep earlier to ignore the taste, the feel of the blood drying to my skin, but I couldn’t do it. 

My own blood is boiling, and it is so invigorating. The stars are intensely bright and it’s hard to look at them. It’s like looking at the sun. I wish I could stare at them forever. I want to know what it feels like to be wrapped up in the light of those stars, like a celestial embrace. I image it to be cool on my skin. 

My face feels like it’s on fire. My skin is burning. The night air is so much cooler compared to me and it’s making me shiver. 

I walk. And I walk. And I sit down for a bit, then I walk again. My feet are bleeding, but the burn feels good. I feel on fire and it is good. 

Then the stars go out, and I’m on the ground. When I wake up, I remember.


End file.
